It's all about the craft (and the catering)

I highly recommend Tropic Thunder. Very well done satire (not a spoof - there's a difference) with teeth. Essentially, this is a heavily armed Christopher Guest movie. Robert Downey Jr. is having the summer of his professional life - Iron Man and now this controversial but ultimately very funny and deft role. (I wish I could see it with Russell Crowe and see what he thinks. I imagine he'd either be very flattered or very pissed off. Probably the latter; you don't hurl telephones around if you're inclined to thank people.)

And it's much, much better than Zoolander. Seriously, Zoolander? Am I the only person in the world who likes Ben Stiller but was considerably underwhelmed by that movie?

Welcome back to the game, Ben.

"Some men just want to watch the world burn"

Early reviews of The Dark Knight have been raves, and tickets are already selling out on Fandango and Moviefone. Piles of money will be made (and torched?!?) opening weekend and strong word of mouth should continue healthy box office throughout the summer...I'll be at an IMAX theater near midnight very soon!

But as we get closer to opening night, I only have one question: where is a key U.S. Senate member and lifelong Batman fan in this next Clockwork Orange-esque clip?

"We sail tonight for Singapore..."

Tomorrow morning, I'll launch myself seven hours north by northwest to see Tom Waits live in concert. I had thought about flying to St. Louis to see the show last night (Tom's first in St. Louis in 30 years). However, as I was testing the online ticket waters an hour before that city's Central time zone general on sale, I clicked and scored such a stunning orchestra seat for the Columbus concert, I decided to just Sal and Dean myself to Ohio as an early birthday present to me. $4 gas? So what? This is a once in a lifetime event, man! This is living! The open road! This is rock and roll! (Plus, you know, uh, my wife said it was, you know, okay that I went and all...)

Anyway, if I get there early enough tomorrow, I'll mess around Comfest. Should be a weekend for the ages. One I'll tell my kids about someday.

"Dad, you sure were pretty weird."
"Were?"
"Well, now you're kind of a kooky, even cool Dad."
"Ah."
"Yeah. Hey, do you happen to have ten bucks?"

George Carlin RIP

George Carlin will posthumously receive the Mark Twain Prize this fall. I always thought he should've been the first to receive this acknowledgement. Not even Richard Pryor was as deft at wielding "obscenity" as legitimately insightful and, most importantly, funny art. Grade school kids and language doctorates both can laugh equally at what he did.

Carlin was the brave realization of the etymological, epistemological, yes even scatological promise Lenny Bruce never really delivered on, in my opinion. Carlin will be talked about in 2108 more so than probably any other stand-up comic from the late twentieth century.

Tim Russert 1950 -2008

In late November 2004, I saw John Fogerty at the 930 Club. I arrived late and couldn't get up near the stage like I normally do. So I went downstairs to the bar. After a while, I noticed Tim Russert was down there at a table. He was very friendly and chatty with those around him, including me. A real everyman in every sense of the word.

A bit later, rock and roll thundering above us, we waited in line together for the bathroom. I was in front of him. I turned and said I enjoyed his book Big Russ and Me. I asked him what his favorite Creedence song was.

"'Fortunate Son,' " he told me without hestitation. "My dad was a truck driver."

I let him cut in front of me to the bathroom. (And I really had to go, too.)

He'll be missed for many reasons. I only wish he could put Cheney on the hotseat one more time...

You Make Me Feel So Young

Frank Sinatra passed away ten years ago today on May 14, 1998. My mother died that same year in the fall. I know Frank was gentleman enough to meet her when she got there. (He took her coat and made her laugh, I'm sure. Asked if she needed a drink, which she probably did...)

Gwen and I danced to the bookishly passionate "Too Marvelous for Words" at our wedding last October. It's a Johnny Mercer tune Frank cut for the Songs for Swingin' Lovers! album in 1956.

One Christmas, back in the mid-90s sometime, I didn't have much money for gifts that year for my family and friends. So I made mixed cassette tapes of popular standards for everybody on my list. I called them "Lumps of Cole".

Sounds pretty gay, huh? Maybe it was a little. Still, the ladies really liked it. Frank was no fool. Here's to you, sir.

The Merchant of Venom

The inimitable Don Rickles turned 82 on Thursday. The master insult comedian of all time, no one was safe from his wrath. Not Sinatra. Not Carson. Not even future presidents.



I'm not sure what this comic is or what it's about, but I wish I had the magic power to insert Don Rickles into random comic panels. Imagine how much more entertaining Mary Worth and For Better or For Worse, among countless others, would be.



If I could give one birthday present to Mr. Rickles, gosh, I dunno. Hmmm. How about having the avuncular, innocuous guy , who endeared himself weekly to millions as we listened to him on American Top 40 over the years, dress up as Hitler and viciously roast him?

Naa. I'm pretty twisted, so like that would ever happen...

When You Wish Upon a Star

I've been in Orlando this past week for a conference at the Disney Contemporary Resort. From my sixth floor balcony, I can see the Cinderella Castle in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World. It can't be a third of a mile from where I'm sitting now keying my laptop. I've watched fireworks every night.

In my 36 years (I'm exactly as old as WDW, by the way), I've somehow missed Uncle Walt's theme park, but I'm finally here. It's probably a good thing I didn't go when I was younger. What about this next creepy early 70s commercial would make any child want to come near this place? (Aside from getting the chance to rough up that snotty Peter Pan?)

I did enjoy one admittedly spectacular night in the Magic Kingdom, taking in two classic attractions. The famous "Pirates of the Caribbean" theme ride, enhanced with additions from the successful (but eventually bloated) movie franchise:



I'm not really an amusement park ride kind of guy, so I probably had no business getting on Space Mountain. I thought it would be a quaint, somewhat kitschy tour through the cosmos. I waited in line for an hour while gradually realizing, through posted warning signs and the whoops of prior riders, that I was instead getting on a twisting, diving roller coaster that tops out at roughly 30mph. That may not sound fast, but in near pitch darkness, it sure felt pretty damn fast.